The Day The Language Died...

The skies darkened and the earth trembled. An explosion of light revealed the slow straight ascent in front of them and then it was all dimness again as the sphere of light imploded upon itself almost as fast as it had appeared. The flash also exposed the two people who were strolling up the slope under an umbrella, shielding them from the incessantly bursting clouds. One form was that of a graceful young woman in a brisk walk who held the umbrella and the other was of a form which was struggling to catch up with her pace, and ergo the protection of the canopy. He seemed to be in great pain as clearly, one of his legs seemed to lag the other giving any onlookers an impression of them being made of similar magnetic poles. Nevertheless, he did manage to catch up with the lady who didn't seem to bother too much about the bloke and continued her walk. When he continued to walk astride her and finally wore her patience thin...

Lady: Who are you man? Quit bugging me!!

G(u?)y: Hey, I'm not a man... I'm the ma-an!

Lady: What's wrong with you?!

G(u?)y: Wait a sec...

Our protagonist(?) quickly flicks out a black Nokia 7210 Supernova and hurriedly texts an 'arbit' guy back in his neighbourhood.

"Hey, guess what? I found a cute gal! And she's totally into me... I'm too awesome!"

Lady:What the bloody hell are you doing? Gimme that!

Saying so, she snatches the phone and she turns redder than a fire-engine.

Lady: 'I'm into you?? Really?!' Are you mad?

G(u?)y: C'mon... I'm too awesome. By the way, I belong to the elite crew of 'lol'ers!

Lady: What?!

G(u?)y: Forget that... What's your name?

Lady: I'm English.

G(u?)y: I can see that! But what's your name?

Lady: 'English' is my name, jackass!

G(u?)y: Hey thanks! I love being called that!

Lady: So you're a jackass who loves being called that?

G(u?)y: I like making people laugh... at me. HUMOUR spells my character.

Lady: I don't want to talk to you. You descecrate my character!

G(u?)y: Cummon now! I'm too awesome for that!

Lady: See! There you go again! Words as nice as 'awesome' lose their flair. Stop destroying me... and leave me now!

G(u?)y: 'Awesome' is my word! I love doing 'arbit jackassery'... It's too legendary!

Lady: I hope lightning strikes you... You killed me thrice with that stupid line!

The lady, enraged, picks up pace and walks away from the badgering guy giving his hind leg a great problem in catching up from the first. A dance so 'beautiful' as our protagonist running was never, and never again will be witnessed by this world! As he catches up yet again, the lady stops and turns back spluttering with rage.

Lady: How come you are talking to me? I thought the only talking you do is on Omegle!

G(u?)y: I can talk to anyone! I'm the ma-an.

Lady: I seriously doubt your vocabulary now!

G(u?)y: Look here, babe... I'm a carefree person. Above all, I believe in enjua-aying life to the fullest...

Lady: STOP!!! I shall not tolerate your diabolical plans of perverting my words! What do you want???

G(u?)y: I just want to njuaaay !!!

Lady: What sacrilegious word is that?

G(u?)y: Njuaaying is the way of life! It's the aue-summ thing to do! It requires extre-eme thinking!

Lady English is fuming now and dropping the umbrella, she brandishes a gun. Seeing no point in threatening someone as brave and obtuse as our protagonist, she empties the magazine on him! Undaunted, undisturbed, our hero displays some lightning fast skills and catches every bullet and fusing them together forms a grenade and chucks it away!

G(u)y: I'm the BOSS!

Lady English gets mad and flees up the slope! As fast as her legs will take her, and far as her legs can take her... No one knows what happened to her hence, though rumour has it that she was spotted floating in the Ganga canal.

Now that English has left, our Hero starts talking in Hindi, "Ab to yeh batao..."